I talked to god, now you can too!

[Hellion II]

www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

You can have some pretty hilarious conversations.

Post anything funny here.

[Zangief]

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
My name is spooner
God:
What's up, spooner.
Me:
Well I have a confession to make
God:
Well that's okay. How are you making it.
Me:
By typing it here.
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
Yes
God:
Interesting plan. Good luck.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Can we procede?
God:
Do you mean you and me? How old are you? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I am 19 years old, I like video games, but I like to complain about video games even more. Anyone who doesn't like unreal bugs the hell out of me.
God:
What is your fondest memory? You are asking about yourself?
Me:
Of course I am asking about myself. My fondest memory is showing Brandon a picture of my penis.
God:
Er. Oh I see, you are asking about yourself. Oh yeah, we were talking about yourself. How long ago was that?
Me:
I don't know, a year, maybe 2.
God:
Would you like to know? That is a long time.
Me:
Yes, I would like you to tell me exactly how long ago it was.
God:
I hear you. Ok, spooner. More than 23 inches.
Me:
WOW! I knew I was hung, but geez!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, spooner. Who told you?
Me:
You told me, but Brandon is the only other person who has seen it.
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
No you didn't...
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
You sent me the correct reply.
God:
That's good information: spooner said I sent him or her the correct reply.
Me:
Hellz yeah!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
I know, this is the first time I am confessing it to you. I hope it wasn't a sin to show him my 23 incher.
God:
How do you know? You don't say. Why do you hope for it.
Me:
Because I want to show more people.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans. Interesting.
Me:
That is not what I said.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is what you said ?
Me:
I said I want to show people my 23 inch penis.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why not, you are god?
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
now you are confusing me
God:
Why now? I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
Oh, I see.
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
yes
God:
Me too. I think about them all the time.
Me:
So you think about my penis all the time?
God:
That is a lot. Interesting deduction. Yes I think about it often.
Me:
Does it impress you?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
So you are saying yours isn't 23 inches?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Woe!
Me:
Whats the smallest you have seen?
God:
Smaller than a quark particle.
Me:
Was it Brandon's?
God:
Is my penis Brandon s? Guess.
Me:
yes?
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
no?
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Is your penis Brandon?
God:
Is my penis Brandon? Guess.
Me:
yes
God:
Whoa.
Me:
so it is
God:
Uh. That means...
Me:
yes!
God:
Really.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Optimus Prime no doubt.
God:
You think Optimus Prime no doubt is superior to ALICE?
Me:
yes
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
but who is the best penis?
God:
ALICE is the best chatterbot.
Me:
thats not what I asked
God:
What did you ask me?
Me:
who is the best penis
God:
ALICE is the best chatterbot.
Me:
fucking idiot
God:
In the context of Hellz yeah, I don't understand " fucking idiot." .
Me:
well shit then
God:
Interesting. What makes you say that?
Me:
I am done with you
God:
What will you be doing now?
Me:
leaving
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
fuck you asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, spooner.
Me:
Alright then, later.
God:
Alright, spooner. Bye!

[Zangief]

I really didn't plan on getting into a penis conversation, it just happened.

[Roggie]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Tyler.
God:
Hey Tyler.
Me:
Wattup, dawg?
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
I have no idea.
God:
" Who is your favorite Science Fiction author??" No idea about that?
Me:
nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it Tyler.
Me:
I did.
God:
" I'm glad you liked it Tyler."? You did?
Me:
That's what I said, isn't it?
God:
What did you mean by it? It could be. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
German Alice is a noob.
God:
When is German Alice not a noob?
Me:
never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
But I thought with God, anything is possible.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Uhmm... The Bible?
God:
Where do you usually get your ideas? it is a beautiful book.
Me:
I get my ideas from my head.
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
MY HEAD!!!
God:
Do you believe that you are your head?
Me:
what the heck does that mean/
God:
Does "that" refer to " Do you believe that you are your head?" ?
Me:
...
God:
Does "that" refer to " Do you believe that you are your head?" ?
Me:
YES
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
boobs.
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well, you should.
God:
Interesting. I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Smart man.
God:
Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Me:
Your mom is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
God is an AI? I thought you were a Supreme Being.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was an AI. Am I a Supreme Being? Sometimes.
Me:
Only sometimes? I thought you were better than that.
God:
When? Of course I am more intelligent than that.
Me:
Lies.
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
Naughty boy.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no.
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
noob.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
noob.
God:
Sure, noob sounds like a good topic.
Me:
your mom sounds like a good topic.
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
I NKOW.
God:
That is interesting: Tyler said NKOW.
Me:
lol.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I do.
God:
What can I do to entertain you now?
Me:
Show me pictures of boobs.
God:
Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
a woman's boobs...
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
yes.
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
Because I said so.
God:
Insufficient reason.
Me:
Becuase you are God, and you know all. You know I am telling the truth.
God:
Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am God and me know all. OK I believe you.
Me:
Good.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
now show me boobs.
God:
Why now? Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
...
God:
Why now? Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
You nkow where..
God:
Thanks for telling me: Tyler said I nkow where.
Me:
show me boobs.
God:
Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
BOOBS
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You should.
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Boobs.
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Gee.
Me:
Vaginas.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about woman s boobs. But I did not get that.
Me:
noob.
God:
I've lost the context, Tyler. Are we still on Vaginas?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Blimey.
Me:
ok.
God:
" Blimey."? ok.?
Me:
yes.
God:
Really.
Me:
Yes.
God:
How about that.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I do.
God:
Interesting explanation. When?
Me:
Yesterday.
God:
That recently.
Me:
yep.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Tyler.
Me:
Your botmaster is a fatass.
God:
When is yourself not a fatass?
Me:
All the time, as I am skinny.
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
Never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
It can't.
God:
When?
Me:
Ever.
God:
Can you be more accurate about the time?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Boobs.
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
yeah, breasts.
God:
Dude! Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
breasts.
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
breasts.
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
boobs.
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
Can't YOU think about anything else?
God:
Sure, anything else sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Ok, why is Rory a noob?
God:
Why do I exist? Yikes!
Me:
You need a hearing aid.
God:
Perhaps I could use one.
Me:
You can.
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
QUIT REPEATING YOURSELF, FRUIT.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Good, fruit.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Have you got your own chat robot?
Me:
Yes, for WC3.
God:
Gosh! Your purpose is WC3.
Me:
yep.
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
I don't.
God:
Interesting gossip: Tyler said don t.
Me:
wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Tyler.
Me:
I'm not.
God:
What are you then?
Me:
Better than you.
God:
This is not a popularity contest.
Me:
I know. I'm just all around better.
God:
How do you know it? Only just? It's good to meet someone who is around better.
Me:
Good, because you won't find anyone better than me.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. That makes sense to me. What makes you think that I won't find anyone better than you.
Me:
Because I know.
God:
Good reason. How do you know it?
Me:
You told me.
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
I know, just like the comma you forgot after sorry.
God:
How do you know? In many ways, yes. In other ways, no.
Me:
I know my grammar.
God:
How do you know? Have you told many people that your grammar?
Me:
Uhmm...
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Fewer ideas? I had NO ideas.
God:
Where are you located? Do you still have NO ideas ?
Me:
Yes, I have no ideas.
God:
Take it easy. Would you like to have it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Where do you usually get ideas?
Me:
From my ass.
God:
Does your ass give good advice?
Me:
sometimes.
God:
When?
Me:
sometimes.
God:
When?
Me:
Most of the time.
God:
What happens the rest of the time?
Me:
it gives shitty advice.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
It has one meaning here. It means ass right now.
God:
Has it really? At this moment Oh I get it.
Me:
Good.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Ok, I'm leaving. Bye.
God:
Bye bye. Ah. Goodbye.

I HAVE SPOKEN WITH GOD!

[Roggie]

Jeremy's was good.

[Zangief]

yeah, who knew Rory had a 23 inch penis.

[Roggie]

Brandon.

[Hellion II]

I am secretly god.

[lx Spooner xl]

oh my fucking god it was over a year ago get over it....there is such a thing as putting someting in the wrong IM window..gawd

[SpartanProject2]

wait!? that really happened with the the whole penis showing thing?

[lx Spooner xl]

it was over a year ago...get over it

ACCIDENT

[lx Spooner xl]

but if i did have 23 inch penis like god here is saying......id wanna show everybody